The Glimmer of Light

Hello faithful blog readers! Thought I’d pop in and say hi.

[Also note that the majority of this post was written around a week ago.]

Life is crazy but pretty awesome nonetheless. For one thing, last week was Crazy Writing Week. What’s crazy writing week? Basically a competition to write a bunch. I wasn’t going to join, but I ended up using it as motivation to tackle all of my school-related writing. Which means I now have time to write one blog post.

So where have I been? What have I been doing? What’s up?

Life’s pretty much the same as it has been for the past year. Too much time staring at a screen. Tired of being limited because of a pandemic. But there have been ups and downs.

This week I feel motivated. Pumped. Happy. Next week I might feel discouraged and buried under schoolwork. But life is still good. All I have to do is look up from my computer to see it. In fact, I don’t even have to look up from my screen to see it. In the corners of my PC desktop are Word documents titled “Dear Lord” or “Dear God.” They are combinations of letters and prayers to God, and every word reminds me of how faithful He is. Things I didn’t see then I can see now. Things I still don’t understand I can now place in His hands.

Life’s been the same. I’m pretty much just the same, too. Same struggles, same discouragements. But I think I am growing. Slowly, painfully, I am learning some things.

I’m not finding the answers I always wanted. I still haven’t figured out the secret to being motivated, the secret to smiling when you’re down, or the secret to getting mountains of tasks completed. But I’m learning to place all those things in His hands.

I don’t understand the mysteries of the universe. I don’t know the answers to the questions vibrating through my brain. And yet, I can write letter after letter to my Father in Heaven asking and asking and asking, and He’s still listening. At the end of the day, I may not get the satisfaction and peace of having figured out just the right solution, of having perfectly put the puzzle pieces together, but it’s okay. Because His peace is the peace that surpasses understanding.

My heart might be filled with sadness, disappointment, and confusion, yet in it all his perfect peace can shine through and light up the darkness.

I’ll keep pressing on to that glorious light. I’ll keep seeking His face. I’ll never stop wanting to understand. But that twinkle of light sparkling from the corners of my mind is enough. It only takes a spark to destroy the darkness and as long as I have Him, I’ll never be without that glimmer of light.

So hold onto that glimmer and don’t let go.

12 Days of Christmas | Day 11 | A Prayer for Christmas

Today I’m going to do something a little different and I’m not really sure how it will go. I’m going to share some hopes, fears, and thoughts from my heart with you in the form of a prayer. I hope you are blessed.


Oh Abba! It is so hard to understand what even happened when Mary conceived of the Holy Spirit and bore the very Son of God.

I really can’t say that I understand it at all. But when I try to grasp all of its meaning, I am wonderstruck.

You, the Most High God became a Man, like any other and yet so unlike any other. Help me understand.

The story You have carved in history is wondrous. It is purely amazing. A rebellious people cast you away. A blind and deaf generation rejected you. Yet you sent your son, your only son, to die for us.

Forgive me when I think my sin is too great! Hold me and help me to trust you when I fear it is too much to ever comprehend. I can’t comprehend it fully, and I never will. But that’s okay.

Take my heart, it is thine own. Let it be thy royal Throne.”

Oh Father! How is it that you have sent Emmanuel, God with us? How can it be?

I surrender my heart, I will cling to it no longer. Reign in me, LORD. Reign in your rightful place.

Through your birth you have opened the way. Through the cross you sealed our salvation. You tore the veil from top to bottom. And now I can approach you Glorious Throne with boldness.

For you are mine, and you will hold me fast forever.

Dear Abba, when I think about tomorrow and all the surprises and stresses it holds my heart feels impatient and heavy.

Let me rest in you, right here, right now, for a moment longer. Let me glimpse the beauty of a Story never to be forgotten.

I don’t want anything to get in the way. Because you are most important in my life.

I am yours. You are mine. Your love is everlasting, you grace abounding, and as far as the east is from the west, so have you removed my sins from me.

I want to rejoice in you. I want to sing! For you alone are the fairest of all, my portion, and my strength, all the days of my life.

“Because your love is better than life, I will praise you. (Psalm 63:3)”

In Jesus’ name, Amen.


I hope you enjoyed! Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas Eve. Hopefully you’re not like me, and you have everything ready for Christmas.


Song of the Day: Christmas Dreams by Francesca Battistelli

I simply couldn’t resist sharing this one, even if it doesn’t match the overall mood of the post very well. 🙂 It’s one of my favorite Christmas Eve songs.


“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.”

-Psalm 23:6 (ESV)

12 Days of Christmas | Day 8 | Encouragement and Exhortation for Christmas

Hello everyone and I am so sorry that I’m so late with this post…I was supposed to write it two days ago and but I got so busy on Sunday and then completely spaced out yesterday about it.

Because I’m so late this post will be short but sweet and you should expect another post today (the post that was actually supposed to be today).

I guess what I really want to offer is some encouragement. But I don’t want to follow all the repetitive cliché “lessons” for us based on the Christmas story. I want to offer real, heart-felt encouragement amid everything.

To be honest I’ve been really worn out and just plain tired around Christmas. And it’s not so much Christmas that makes me tired, but everything surrounding it.

Finals week. Election results. So much to do and see. Crowded stores. Every room is a “Santa’s Workshop.” Anticipation and dread. Concerts to play in and see. Cards to write and read. Catching up on everything you’ve procrastinated on. Fighting winter depression. Wondering if when this year ends and the New Year begins, we’ll have measured up to our own standard. Met our resolutions. Seen if we’re good enough.

It’s exhausting. And so complicated.

This year excluded, I’ve never really felt lonely at Christmas. And definitely not the whole “singles loneliness.” This year COVID and social distancing has made me a lonely already, but Christmas hasn’t made that any worse really.

It’s not loneliness I tend to deal with this time of year but bitterness, jealousy, discontentment, and self-hatred.

It’s almost funny how jealousy and self-hatred can go hand-in-hand. One is discontentment with others (particularly in comparison to others) and one is discontentment with oneself. And while discontentment with oneself can be beneficial if it lead to dependence on God, if it simply festers into bitterness it can be a whole lot worse.

Here are 10 of the things I’ve learned work and don’t work to keep bitterness and jealousy in check (particularly around Christmas). I hope you are both encouraged and exhorted by them.

1) Lowering your expectations of Christmas so you “won’t be disappointed” only temporarily subdues bitterness and jealousy.

2) Living out peace and kindness throughout the Christmas season and particularly on Christmas day does not just happen automatically. There is no “Christmas magic” that makes people get along better. If there is no work going into it, it’s just surface peace. Loving one another takes sacrifice and effort, even on Christmas day.

3) Understanding the difference between “I deserve to have whatever I want particularly if it’s small” and “I am loved by God who will give me whatever I truly need” is very important.

4) There is so much joy in pouring your heart into a gift for another person.

5) Perfect love casts out fear

6) Most of the time others don’t know when you’re feeling lonely, jealous for attention and love, and festering bitterness. With all the busyness surrounding Christmas it can be so hard to tell if a loved one is feeling neglected or ignored. When you recognize a root of jealousy or bitterness in yourself, often all it takes is a quick note to a friend or family member telling them that you are feeling lonely or isolated for them to realize this and help fill your cup back up. It’s not about demanding love, but about recognizing when and why you are sad then communicating it instead of resorting to bitterness or unkindness.

7) If you are just feeling grumpy or irritated and you can’t figure out why asking a friend or two to pray about it can really help you sort out your attitude. Admitting you have a bad attitude does wonders.

8) Loving others who are as broken as you (if not more broken on the outside) can not only work to heal and help them, but also to renew a right spirit within you and fill you with gratitude and hope in the midst of your bitterness.

9) Remember that every day is a gift. Enjoy every moment with you loved ones and focus on the important things instead of getting caught up in trivial arguments.

10) You are loved by God. Fully and utterly loved. You are special, you are beautiful, and you have been made perfect in God’s eyes by Jesus’ sacrifice if only you accept his beautiful gift of salvation. You are made in the image of God and don’t you ever forget that. If God says you are awesomely and wonderfully made, who are you to say otherwise? If God says there is hope for you, that even now He is working in you and sanctifying you, who are you to say otherwise.


“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

-Romans 8:37

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

-Romans 8:1

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.”

-Psalm 139:14


Song of the Day: Heaven Everywhere by Francesca Battistelli


*All scripture quotations are from the ESV translation unless otherwise noted

Peace That Surpasses All Understanding

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

-Philippians 4:7

Some of my earliest memories of going to bed include my mom singing Amazing Grace and praying for us after she’d tucked us in before she softly shut the door.

And I remember in particular one particular phrase that she used to pray over us. She would pray that God would give us that peace which surpasses all understanding.

It always comforted me, but I wouldn’t say I really understood what it meant at that point.

And later on even after mom didn’t always sing us to sleep with Amazing Grace, she would still often pray that phrase over us. When I came across the book of Philippians and claimed it as my favorite book in the Bible I saw that phrase again. And I mused over it. I still do. It comforted me. It still does.

And when studying Colossians 3 these past few weeks, particularly in light of the awful things going on in the whole world, in my world, and in other peoples’ worlds, I was reminded of that comforting peace.

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

-Colossians 3:15

I long for peace. I crave peace. I want that in me! I need it.

Don’t you? When you look around at the hurt, the sorrow, the deep darkness penetrating everything around, doesn’t your soul just cry out for peace?

I sure do.

Searching for escape, I try to bury myself in other things, to hide from the turbulence the unending disturbance. But it doesn’t work. It can’t guard me forever.

In fact, it can’t guard me at all.

But there is this peace that protects.

There is this peace that guards, that rules over the hurt, that comforts.

And this peace is from God alone.

But the thing is, it doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t have to. This peace is so great it surpasses all understanding.

Let me say that again.

I know a peace that is greater than, that surpasses, ALL understanding.

That means I don’t have to hide. I don’t have to run. I don’t have to worry.

I can let the peace of Christ rule in my heart. It will guard my heart, it will guard my mind.

And it surpasses all understanding.

May the peace of God which surpasses all understanding guard your hearts and minds!! God be with you all.