What It Means (A Poem)

Because as much as I often look down on poetry, sometimes it is easier to express such things with. ☺

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So this is what it means 
To be loved
Even seen
Yet still reached for

He poured out his lifeblood
Just to cleanse me
He reached to all ends
Just to live in me

Now I know what it means
That He loves me.

So this is what it means
To taste freedom
To be set loose
To live without bondage

He didn’t just cleanse me
He filled me with life
His power dwells in me
He’s set me free

Now I know what it means
That He saved me.

He’s here, not just there
He within, not around
He’s living, breathing
Inside and out
My God is alive.

Now I know what it means
That He’s with me.

So I’m redeemed
Yes, I’m cherished.
I’m alive, no longer numb
I may not feel, but I know.
That He’s list’ning.

For no matter my chaos
No matter my darkness
He walked through it all
And stays even now,

So I know what it means
That He’s my friend.

I breath in
And I gasp
For He says
That He’s here.

So this is what it means
To conquer death
To be filled with the power
Of the One who won all

This is what it means
To be Overcomer.

And so I stand
In this truth discovered
Knowing what it means
To be what I am

For this is what it means
To be child, to be daughter
To be loved.

This is what it means
That He’s here.

***

May God be with you this week. I pray He would speak to you and perhaps give you a glimpse of what it means that He gave himself for you. ❤

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"Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
    whose hope is in the Lord his God,
who made heaven and earth,
    the sea, and all that is in them,
who keeps faith forever;
who executes justice for the oppressed,
    who gives food to the hungry.
The LORD sets the prisoners free;"

-Psalm 146.5-7 (ESV)

"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"

-Matthew 6:26 (ESV)

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Note: This post is dedicated to my dear friend Mary, who continues to remind me that I am redeemed and beloved of God despite the chaos of other voices telling me otherwise.

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What To Do With Words

I wish I knew what to do with my words.

Pain, weariness, joy, wonder, beauty, love— they all seem to be colors on the painting of life. And I want to paint. I want to light up the world with beauty.

In a way, hands are a much simpler tool than the pen. They do. They act. They help. The pen does too, carving words and thoughts and emotions across the canvas of our minds, sometimes embedding farther than the hands alone can accomplish.

I am learning to use my hands to ease suffering, bring joy, and restore health. It is hard; very, very hard. But it is much simpler than words.

Words cannot be seen. Sometimes they allow themselves to be thought, but more often they are chased, as every one seems to fall short of reality. If only I could use them as I wish. If only they would follow my command, if only they would express the inexpressible.

But I suppose words fall short there. I can only use words for so much.

So what shall I use my words for? And how?

How can I heal with words? How can I help? How can I bring beauty, joy, discovery, and wonder? How can I show truth? How can I show love?

Oh Lord help me, for I do not know how to do this.

So show me how to show Your love. Show me how to weave, how to paint. Show me how to bring light. Show me what to do with my words.

May the Lord’s words guide mine. May He guide yours as well.

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“Your word is a lamp to my feet
    and a light to my path.”

-Psalm 119:105

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
    be acceptable in your sight,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

-Psalm 19:14

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*All Scripture quotations are from the ESV translation unless otherwise noted.

The Glimmer of Light

Hello faithful blog readers! Thought I’d pop in and say hi.

[Also note that the majority of this post was written around a week ago.]

Life is crazy but pretty awesome nonetheless. For one thing, last week was Crazy Writing Week. What’s crazy writing week? Basically a competition to write a bunch. I wasn’t going to join, but I ended up using it as motivation to tackle all of my school-related writing. Which means I now have time to write one blog post.

So where have I been? What have I been doing? What’s up?

Life’s pretty much the same as it has been for the past year. Too much time staring at a screen. Tired of being limited because of a pandemic. But there have been ups and downs.

This week I feel motivated. Pumped. Happy. Next week I might feel discouraged and buried under schoolwork. But life is still good. All I have to do is look up from my computer to see it. In fact, I don’t even have to look up from my screen to see it. In the corners of my PC desktop are Word documents titled “Dear Lord” or “Dear God.” They are combinations of letters and prayers to God, and every word reminds me of how faithful He is. Things I didn’t see then I can see now. Things I still don’t understand I can now place in His hands.

Life’s been the same. I’m pretty much just the same, too. Same struggles, same discouragements. But I think I am growing. Slowly, painfully, I am learning some things.

I’m not finding the answers I always wanted. I still haven’t figured out the secret to being motivated, the secret to smiling when you’re down, or the secret to getting mountains of tasks completed. But I’m learning to place all those things in His hands.

I don’t understand the mysteries of the universe. I don’t know the answers to the questions vibrating through my brain. And yet, I can write letter after letter to my Father in Heaven asking and asking and asking, and He’s still listening. At the end of the day, I may not get the satisfaction and peace of having figured out just the right solution, of having perfectly put the puzzle pieces together, but it’s okay. Because His peace is the peace that surpasses understanding.

My heart might be filled with sadness, disappointment, and confusion, yet in it all his perfect peace can shine through and light up the darkness.

I’ll keep pressing on to that glorious light. I’ll keep seeking His face. I’ll never stop wanting to understand. But that twinkle of light sparkling from the corners of my mind is enough. It only takes a spark to destroy the darkness and as long as I have Him, I’ll never be without that glimmer of light.

So hold onto that glimmer and don’t let go.

Don’t Give Up

To you who feel without purpose.
To you who feel like you’ve lost your passion.

To you who feel lost and without hope.

Don’t give up.

Life may seem hopeless. It may feel like joy will never come again.

Don’t give up.

It’s not hopeless. Life has meaning. Life has purpose.

God is holding on. He will never let go.

He has a purpose for your life beyond anything you could ever imagine.

As pain drowns out everything but the numbness, hold onto hope.

When you wonder what you’re even doing living, don’t give up.

Lean into his love. Press on, even when it is harder than anything you’ve ever done.

When you cross the dawn it will be beautiful like nothing else. The passion you thought was dead will bloom stronger and purer than ever before.

Don’t give up.

You will never be tempted beyond His ability to deliver. Don’t give up.

Cling to his promises.

He will provide a way of escape. Do not heed Satan’s lies. There is hope, invisible and invincible, through Jesus Christ the Savior of the world.

He who gave his very life to save you will not let go now. He loves you deeply, overwhelmingly, wondrously, awesomely. He will never, no never, no never, ever leave you.

For he has indeed promised “I will never leave nor forsake you.”

To you who feel life is too much. To you who feel another breath is too heavy a burden to bear. To you who have lost all hope.

Don’t give up. Hope is never lost. He will give you strength.

To you who are exhausted inside and out. To you who pretend to know your purpose, who pretend to feel passion, to those who feel their whole life is fake. To you who feel no one else will ever understand.

He understands. He heals. He holds you.

You who are weary, lift your drooping limbs and raise your eyes to heaven. You who are heavy-laden, who don’t have the strength, come to Him. He calls to you:

Rest, beloved. Let your soul find rest. Wait for me, and I will give you rest.

However hard it feels, however hopeless, promise me this one thing:

Don’t give up.

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Hebrews 12:12-13

1 Corinthians 10:13

Matthew 11:28-30

Isaiah 40:28-31

Hebrews 13:5b-6

Philippians 3:13-14

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