The Glimmer of Light

Hello faithful blog readers! Thought I’d pop in and say hi.

[Also note that the majority of this post was written around a week ago.]

Life is crazy but pretty awesome nonetheless. For one thing, last week was Crazy Writing Week. What’s crazy writing week? Basically a competition to write a bunch. I wasn’t going to join, but I ended up using it as motivation to tackle all of my school-related writing. Which means I now have time to write one blog post.

So where have I been? What have I been doing? What’s up?

Life’s pretty much the same as it has been for the past year. Too much time staring at a screen. Tired of being limited because of a pandemic. But there have been ups and downs.

This week I feel motivated. Pumped. Happy. Next week I might feel discouraged and buried under schoolwork. But life is still good. All I have to do is look up from my computer to see it. In fact, I don’t even have to look up from my screen to see it. In the corners of my PC desktop are Word documents titled “Dear Lord” or “Dear God.” They are combinations of letters and prayers to God, and every word reminds me of how faithful He is. Things I didn’t see then I can see now. Things I still don’t understand I can now place in His hands.

Life’s been the same. I’m pretty much just the same, too. Same struggles, same discouragements. But I think I am growing. Slowly, painfully, I am learning some things.

I’m not finding the answers I always wanted. I still haven’t figured out the secret to being motivated, the secret to smiling when you’re down, or the secret to getting mountains of tasks completed. But I’m learning to place all those things in His hands.

I don’t understand the mysteries of the universe. I don’t know the answers to the questions vibrating through my brain. And yet, I can write letter after letter to my Father in Heaven asking and asking and asking, and He’s still listening. At the end of the day, I may not get the satisfaction and peace of having figured out just the right solution, of having perfectly put the puzzle pieces together, but it’s okay. Because His peace is the peace that surpasses understanding.

My heart might be filled with sadness, disappointment, and confusion, yet in it all his perfect peace can shine through and light up the darkness.

I’ll keep pressing on to that glorious light. I’ll keep seeking His face. I’ll never stop wanting to understand. But that twinkle of light sparkling from the corners of my mind is enough. It only takes a spark to destroy the darkness and as long as I have Him, I’ll never be without that glimmer of light.

So hold onto that glimmer and don’t let go.

Don’t Give Up

To you who feel without purpose.
To you who feel like you’ve lost your passion.

To you who feel lost and without hope.

Don’t give up.

Life may seem hopeless. It may feel like joy will never come again.

Don’t give up.

It’s not hopeless. Life has meaning. Life has purpose.

God is holding on. He will never let go.

He has a purpose for your life beyond anything you could ever imagine.

As pain drowns out everything but the numbness, hold onto hope.

When you wonder what you’re even doing living, don’t give up.

Lean into his love. Press on, even when it is harder than anything you’ve ever done.

When you cross the dawn it will be beautiful like nothing else. The passion you thought was dead will bloom stronger and purer than ever before.

Don’t give up.

You will never be tempted beyond your ability. Don’t give up.

Cling to his promises.

He will provide a way of escape. Do not heed Satan’s lies. There is hope, invisible and invincible, through Jesus Christ the Savior of the world.

He who gave his very life to save you will not let go now. He loves you deeply, overwhelmingly, wondrously, awesomely. He will never, no never, no never, ever leave you.

For he has indeed promised “I will never leave nor forsake you.”

To you who feel life is too much. To you who feel another breath is too heavy a burden to bear. To you who have lost all hope.

Don’t give up. Hope is never lost. He will give you strength.

To you who are exhausted inside and out. To you who pretend to know your purpose, who pretend to feel passion, to those who feel their whole life is fake. To you who feel no one else will ever understand.

He understands. He heals. He holds you.

You who are weary, lift your drooping limbs and raise your eyes to heaven. You who are heavy-laden, who don’t have the strength, come to Him. He calls to you:

Rest, beloved. Let your soul find rest. Wait for me, and I will give you rest.

However hard it feels, however hopeless, promise me this one thing:

Don’t give up.


Hebrews 12:12-13

1 Corinthians 10:13

Matthew 11:28-30

Isaiah 40:28-31

Hebrews 13:5b-6

Philippians 3:13-14


12 Days of Christmas | Day 11 | A Prayer for Christmas

Today I’m going to do something a little different and I’m not really sure how it will go. I’m going to share some hopes, fears, and thoughts from my heart with you in the form of a prayer. I hope you are blessed.


Oh Abba! It is so hard to understand what even happened when Mary conceived of the Holy Spirit and bore the very Son of God.

I really can’t say that I understand it at all. But when I try to grasp all of its meaning, I am wonderstruck.

You, the Most High God became a Man, like any other and yet so unlike any other. Help me understand.

The story You have carved in history is wondrous. It is purely amazing. A rebellious people cast you away. A blind and deaf generation rejected you. Yet you sent your son, your only son, to die for us.

Forgive me when I think my sin is too great! Hold me and help me to trust you when I fear it is too much to ever comprehend. I can’t comprehend it fully, and I never will. But that’s okay.

Take my heart, it is thine own. Let it be thy royal Throne.”

Oh Father! How is it that you have sent Emmanuel, God with us? How can it be?

I surrender my heart, I will cling to it no longer. Reign in me, LORD. Reign in your rightful place.

Through your birth you have opened the way. Through the cross you sealed our salvation. You tore the veil from top to bottom. And now I can approach you Glorious Throne with boldness.

For you are mine, and you will hold me fast forever.

Dear Abba, when I think about tomorrow and all the surprises and stresses it holds my heart feels impatient and heavy.

Let me rest in you, right here, right now, for a moment longer. Let me glimpse the beauty of a Story never to be forgotten.

I don’t want anything to get in the way. Because you are most important in my life.

I am yours. You are mine. Your love is everlasting, you grace abounding, and as far as the east is from the west, so have you removed my sins from me.

I want to rejoice in you. I want to sing! For you alone are the fairest of all, my portion, and my strength, all the days of my life.

“Because your love is better than life, I will praise you. (Psalm 63:3)”

In Jesus’ name, Amen.


I hope you enjoyed! Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas Eve. Hopefully you’re not like me, and you have everything ready for Christmas.


Song of the Day: Christmas Dreams by Francesca Battistelli

I simply couldn’t resist sharing this one, even if it doesn’t match the overall mood of the post very well. 🙂 It’s one of my favorite Christmas Eve songs.


“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.”

-Psalm 23:6 (ESV)

12 Days of Christmas | Day 10 | Word Study on “Reign”

Hello everyone! I’m a teeny bit late as usual. I don’t even want to think about all I need to get done tomorrow…yikes!

I’m not exactly sure why I decided to go with “reign” as my final word study with all the others to choose from, but it was one of the top ones and it felt like a good wrapping up place (*ahem* no reference to Christmas intended).

Speaking of which…I have yet to wrap any Christmas presents. But that’s kind off topic! Let’s talk about reign.

To change things up a little…let’s start with the Greek (New Testament).

Basileuó means to be King or to reign. A similar word is sumbasileuó meaning to reign with. Sumbasileuó is the word used in 2 Timothy 2:12 where it says:

“For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him;
If we endure, we will also reign with Him;
If we deny Him, He will also deny us;
If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.”

-2 Timothy 2:11-13

Another similar word is basileia which is means to sovereignty, kingdom or authority and usually refers to said sovereignty being in God’s hands. It is usually translated as kingdom. For instance:

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided to you.”

-Matthew 6:33

“So He was saying, “What is the kingdom of God like, and to what shall I compare it? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and threw into his own garden; and it grew and became a tree, and the birds of the sky nested in its branches.”

-Luke 13:18-19

“And He made us into a kingdom, priests to His God and Father—to Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”

-Revelation 1:6

Yet another variation of this word appears once in the Christmas story (according to Luke) and once in Revelations. The word is basileusei.

“And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and give birth to a son, and you shall name Him Jesus.

He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David; and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom will have no end.”

-Luke 1:30-33

“Then the seventh angel sounded; and there were loud voices in heaven, saying,

“The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ; and He will reign forever and ever.”

-Revelation 11:15

Hégemonia is a noun that refers to “a reign.” For instance the hégemonia of Tiberus Caesar (as mentioned in Luke 3:1).

Archó means to reign over, but can also mean to begin.

For the Hebrew I’m going to try and focus on prophecies of Christ (rather than the recounting of all the reigns of random kings throughout the Old Testament).

I’ve chose four verse to go over one from the Psalms, Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Micah.

“The LORD reigns, He is clothed with majesty;
The LORD has clothed and encircled Himself with strength.
Indeed, the world is firmly established; it will not be moved.”

-Psalm 93:1

The word for reign in this instance is malak meaning to be or become king (to reign). It occurs 348 times in the Old Testament and is used to describe when someone becomes king and to describe how Yahweh reigns forever and ever.

“How delightful on the mountains
Are the feet of one who brings good news,
Who announces peace
And brings good news of happiness,
Who announces salvation,
And says to Zion, “Your God reigns!”

-Isaiah 52:7

Isaiah uses the same word here as well (malak). I love how the hymn “Our God Reigns” incorporates this verse. It’s so beautiful.

“Behold, the days are coming,” declares the LORD,
“When I will raise up for David a righteous Branch;
And He will reign as king and act wisely
And do justice and righteousness in the land.”

-Jeremiah 23:5

Turns out the word used in Jeremiah is almost exactly the same with one minor difference. Insted of “malak” Jeremiah uses “umalak” which more specifically means that he “will reign.” I don’t know anything about Hebrew grammar, but I’m guessing this is the future tense of the same word (reigns=present, will reign=future).

“I will make those who limp a remnant,
And those who have strayed a mighty nation,
And the LORD will reign over them on Mount Zion
From now on and forever.”

-Micah 4:7

And as I was guessing Micah also uses umalak, or “will reign.”

YAHWEH is sovereign and YAHWEH is King of Kings, in the past, the present, and the future. But it seems Jeremiah and Micah in particular, looked forward to the reign of the perfect King over all those who are truly his people. They looked forward to the redemptive King, the one who would gather the Nobodies into a mighty nation and call it His own.

That King is Jesus, the One and Only Son of God and Son of Man and He is knocking on your heart even now, calling for you to surrender your broken heart to him and let him make it a mighty throne. He loves you more fully and truly than you can yet comprehend and brings healing in his reign. Let him reign in your heart.


Song of the Day: He Shall Reign Forevermore by Matt Maher

I’ve been looking forward to sharing this song with you. Matt Maher’s version is by far my favorite version. It’s awesome!


He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David; and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom will have no end.”

-Luke 1:32-33

“For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him;
If we endure, we will also reign with Him;
If we deny Him, He will also deny us;
If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.”

-2 Timothy 2:11-13

12 Days of Christmas | Day 8 | Encouragement and Exhortation for Christmas

Hello everyone and I am so sorry that I’m so late with this post…I was supposed to write it two days ago and but I got so busy on Sunday and then completely spaced out yesterday about it.

Because I’m so late this post will be short but sweet and you should expect another post today (the post that was actually supposed to be today).

I guess what I really want to offer is some encouragement. But I don’t want to follow all the repetitive cliché “lessons” for us based on the Christmas story. I want to offer real, heart-felt encouragement amid everything.

To be honest I’ve been really worn out and just plain tired around Christmas. And it’s not so much Christmas that makes me tired, but everything surrounding it.

Finals week. Election results. So much to do and see. Crowded stores. Every room is a “Santa’s Workshop.” Anticipation and dread. Concerts to play in and see. Cards to write and read. Catching up on everything you’ve procrastinated on. Fighting winter depression. Wondering if when this year ends and the New Year begins, we’ll have measured up to our own standard. Met our resolutions. Seen if we’re good enough.

It’s exhausting. And so complicated.

This year excluded, I’ve never really felt lonely at Christmas. And definitely not the whole “singles loneliness.” This year COVID and social distancing has made me a lonely already, but Christmas hasn’t made that any worse really.

It’s not loneliness I tend to deal with this time of year but bitterness, jealousy, discontentment, and self-hatred.

It’s almost funny how jealousy and self-hatred can go hand-in-hand. One is discontentment with others (particularly in comparison to others) and one is discontentment with oneself. And while discontentment with oneself can be beneficial if it lead to dependence on God, if it simply festers into bitterness it can be a whole lot worse.

Here are 10 of the things I’ve learned work and don’t work to keep bitterness and jealousy in check (particularly around Christmas). I hope you are both encouraged and exhorted by them.

1) Lowering your expectations of Christmas so you “won’t be disappointed” only temporarily subdues bitterness and jealousy.

2) Living out peace and kindness throughout the Christmas season and particularly on Christmas day does not just happen automatically. There is no “Christmas magic” that makes people get along better. If there is no work going into it, it’s just surface peace. Loving one another takes sacrifice and effort, even on Christmas day.

3) Understanding the difference between “I deserve to have whatever I want particularly if it’s small” and “I am loved by God who will give me whatever I truly need” is very important.

4) There is so much joy in pouring your heart into a gift for another person.

5) Perfect love casts out fear

6) Most of the time others don’t know when you’re feeling lonely, jealous for attention and love, and festering bitterness. With all the busyness surrounding Christmas it can be so hard to tell if a loved one is feeling neglected or ignored. When you recognize a root of jealousy or bitterness in yourself, often all it takes is a quick note to a friend or family member telling them that you are feeling lonely or isolated for them to realize this and help fill your cup back up. It’s not about demanding love, but about recognizing when and why you are sad then communicating it instead of resorting to bitterness or unkindness.

7) If you are just feeling grumpy or irritated and you can’t figure out why asking a friend or two to pray about it can really help you sort out your attitude. Admitting you have a bad attitude does wonders.

8) Loving others who are as broken as you (if not more broken on the outside) can not only work to heal and help them, but also to renew a right spirit within you and fill you with gratitude and hope in the midst of your bitterness.

9) Remember that every day is a gift. Enjoy every moment with you loved ones and focus on the important things instead of getting caught up in trivial arguments.

10) You are loved by God. Fully and utterly loved. You are special, you are beautiful, and you have been made perfect in God’s eyes by Jesus’ sacrifice if only you accept his beautiful gift of salvation. You are made in the image of God and don’t you ever forget that. If God says you are awesomely and wonderfully made, who are you to say otherwise? If God says there is hope for you, that even now He is working in you and sanctifying you, who are you to say otherwise.


“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

-Romans 8:37

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

-Romans 8:1

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.”

-Psalm 139:14


Song of the Day: Heaven Everywhere by Francesca Battistelli


*All scripture quotations are from the ESV translation unless otherwise noted

12 Days of Christmas | Day 7 | Word Study on “Emmanuel”

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Today we are doing a word study on the most requested Christmas-related word: Emmanuel.

First off, we know from Matthew 1:23 that Emmanuel means “God with us.”

“Behold, the virgin will conceive and give birth to a Son, and they shall name Him Immanuel,” which translated means, “God with us.”

-Matthew 1:23

The Hebrew word for Emmanuel is “Immanuel,” which directly translated means “with us is God.”

The word Immanuel comes from the Hebrew words “im” and “el“. Im means beside or with and El means God (kind of like Elohim I think).

Immanuel is used twice in the Old Testament, once in Isaiah 7 and once in Isaiah 8.

In the first instance, God is talking to Ahaz (through Isaiah) telling him “not [to] be fainthearted” and telling him of what is going to happen (Isaiah 7:4). If you’d like more context I suggest reading Isaiah 7 for yourself and maybe look at something like this to understand the greater context.

After emphasizing the need for Ahaz to wholeheartedly believe what He is telling him, the LORD tells Ahaz to ask for a sign and to “make it deep as Sheol or high as heaven” (Isaiah 7:11), Ahaz refuses and claims he will not “put the Lord to the test” (Isaiah 7:12).

The LORD rebukes him for his arrogance and says that the Lord himself will give Ahaz a sign. The sign of Immanuel, conceived by a virgin.

“Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and she will name Him Immanuel. He will eat curds and honey at the time He knows enough to refuse evil and choose good. For before the boy knows enough to refuse evil and choose good, the land whose two kings you dread will be abandoned.”

-Isaiah 7:14-16

It seems in this case that there were multiple fulfillments of the prophecy, one right then, and one later, when Christ was born. Because while this is the very prophecy quoted by Matthew in reference to Jesus’ birth, it was also fulfilled in Ahaz’s lifetime (before the boy conceived knew enough to refuse evil and choose good).

The Greek word used by Matthew in Matthew 1:23 to refer to Jesus’ virgin birth is “Emmanouél” which is a messianic title that means, as does the Hebrew word, God with us.

Whenever I think of “God with us” I think of the last part of Hebrews 13:5 where it quotes from the Old Testament and reminds us that “He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (ESV).

God is with us always and will never forsake us. He is always there for us to turn to and one day he will take us to be with Him forever. Never fear! He is there for you.

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or in dread of them, for the Lord your God is the One who is going with you. He will not desert you or abandon you.”

-Deuteronomy 31:6

Another verse I think of when I think of God with us is Ezekiel 37:27 and the verses surrounding.

“I will make a covenant of peace with them. It shall be an everlasting covenant with them.

And I will set them in their land and multiply them, and will set my sanctuary in their midst forevermore.

My dwelling place shall be with them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

Then the nations will know that I am the Lord who sanctifies Israel, when my sanctuary is in their midst forevermore.”

-Ezekial 37:26-28 (ESV)

Something about that verse “my dwelling place shall be with them…I will be their God…they shall be my people” makes me a little homesick for heaven.

God is with us indeed. But I simply can’t wait to truly see Him face to face and sit at his feet and worship him! I can hardly even imagine a glimpse of what it will be like. Won’t it be glorious, when we are truly His people and He is truly our God? Then we’ll be truly with him forever and ever.

I hope you enjoyed and were encouraged by this post! I’m a little later in the day than I was planning on being but oh well! I think I needed a little more time on this post, as short as it is.

Thanks for reading! See y’all tomorrow for Day 8. Can you believe it’s only 5 more days until Christmas????!?


Song of the Day: O Come O Come Emmanuel by Joshua Aaron

O Come O Come Emmanuel was a pretty intuitive choice for today, but what’s even cooler is the version I chose! It’s sung with more traditional Hebrew pronunciation and has sections that are actually sung in Hebrew!!! It’s so cool. Plus it’s sung live from the Tower of David.


“Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.”

-Revelation 3:20

“And they will fight against you but they will not overcome you, for I am with you to save you,” declares the Lord.”

-Jeremiah 1:19

“In My Father’s house are many rooms; if that were not so, I would have told you, because I am going there to prepare a place for you.

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I am coming again and will take you to Myself, so that where I am, there you also will be.”

-John 14:2-3


*All scripture quotations are from the NASB translation unless otherwise noted

Peace That Surpasses All Understanding

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

-Philippians 4:7

Some of my earliest memories of going to bed include my mom singing Amazing Grace and praying for us after she’d tucked us in before she softly shut the door.

And I remember in particular one particular phrase that she used to pray over us. She would pray that God would give us that peace which surpasses all understanding.

It always comforted me, but I wouldn’t say I really understood what it meant at that point.

And later on even after mom didn’t always sing us to sleep with Amazing Grace, she would still often pray that phrase over us. When I came across the book of Philippians and claimed it as my favorite book in the Bible I saw that phrase again. And I mused over it. I still do. It comforted me. It still does.

And when studying Colossians 3 these past few weeks, particularly in light of the awful things going on in the whole world, in my world, and in other peoples’ worlds, I was reminded of that comforting peace.

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

-Colossians 3:15

I long for peace. I crave peace. I want that in me! I need it.

Don’t you? When you look around at the hurt, the sorrow, the deep darkness penetrating everything around, doesn’t your soul just cry out for peace?

I sure do.

Searching for escape, I try to bury myself in other things, to hide from the turbulence the unending disturbance. But it doesn’t work. It can’t guard me forever.

In fact, it can’t guard me at all.

But there is this peace that protects.

There is this peace that guards, that rules over the hurt, that comforts.

And this peace is from God alone.

But the thing is, it doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t have to. This peace is so great it surpasses all understanding.

Let me say that again.

I know a peace that is greater than, that surpasses, ALL understanding.

That means I don’t have to hide. I don’t have to run. I don’t have to worry.

I can let the peace of Christ rule in my heart. It will guard my heart, it will guard my mind.

And it surpasses all understanding.

May the peace of God which surpasses all understanding guard your hearts and minds!! God be with you all.

In Which Bach Inspires Me

I’ve been working on some Bach, lately, namely the D Minor Cello Suite. In fact, I have a *virtual* recital today, and I’m playing the Allemande, Courante, and Sarabande from the D Minor Suite.

And I gotta say, Bach inspires me. A lot.

As I’ve been playing and rehearsing these three movements, my imagination has been working, and a story formed in my mind. I just love how certain music can inspire stories!

I really want to portray a story and some sort of meaning into my playing, and I thought writing out the story as if flowed from the music, would help do just that.

I thought I’d share the story here, for you to read, and perhaps to help you appreciate Bach (who is probably my favorite composer).

It really helps if you listen to the music as, before, or after you read the story, to understand it best. I would recommend the recording by the Netherlands Bach Society here. The Allemande is at 4:56, the Courante at 8:53, and the Sarabande at 10:45.

Without further ado, here is the short story I wrote!


A Short story based on three movements of the Bach D Minor Cello Suite

Allemande

She stared out the window, a hint of sadness touching her heart. They were here. They were home. Now she had forever with her husband, until death do us part. But what if death came sooner than they expected?

Amidst the horrifying news of war and Nazis, there was a sort of unnatural peace about her new home. One moment a glimpse of the newspaper would send her heart beating a little faster than normal, another moment there was nothing to fear: she was in his arms and he was in hers.

But what if the drafts really happened? What if Caleb was sent away never to come back?

And yet still, remained that strange peace. Life went on, and for now she had hope.


Courante

Sarah could barely keep track of time. Caleb, the love of her life, was leaving tomorrow. He promised to come back, but something countered the reassurance, a voice saying that he couldn’t possibly control whether he died in the war. Unknowns spiraled in the back of her mind.

But time wouldn’t stop—he was leaving, he was gone, she was alone. It all went so fast, she couldn’t even wrap her head around it.

Time went even faster for Caleb. He trained hard, pressed on, kept going. Before he knew it, he was headed to war as a trained soldier, but truth be told, he hardly felt prepared at all. With his first taste of war, he began to doubt he could keep his promise to Sarah, and he feared he might never come home alive at all.

But through the chaos and doubts, he fought. He struggled forward against the enemy, badly hurt, but still fighting. Until finally, one day, he fell down unconscious, trodden underfoot by soldiers on both sides.


Sarabande

Sarah stood once again by the window, tears glistening her face. I will be brave, I must be brave.

Lost in action. The words were imprinted on her mind, flowing with fear and hope through her grief.

He wasn’t dead. Or at least, there was a possibility he wasn’t dead. But he was alone, and lost, perhaps surrounded by the enemy.

The tears didn’t come out in sobs or heaves. They simply streamed slowly down her face. Her pain was too deep for that. And perhaps it was too hopeful.

Because she would hope. And she would pray.

He’s never coming back, you’ll never see him again… a despairing voice echoed through her head.

Sarah lifted her chin up with silent determination. I will be brave. I will hope.

The tears kept streaming.

She wasn’t alone in her grief, it was true. But it almost made her heart ache more. How many women, full of hopes and dreams, had men out there? How many had been told as she had that their loved one was “Lost in Action”?

And all she could do was sit here and wait, hoping, fearing, praying, and waiting some more. Waiting with a heavy heart.



I hope you enjoyed it! I don’t really have any experience writing World War II fiction, but this is what came to me as I played!

“For we through the Spirit, by faith, are waiting for the hope of righteousness.”

-Galatians 5:5 (NASB)

Confident

I’m not usually one to write a lot of poetry. In fact, I tend to be pretty skeptical when people say they write poetry (especially when there’s no rhyme in sight). But as I was musing over the topic of pride, confidence, and even self-consciousness (the opposite of both humility and confidence) this happened.

And I decided I’d share it with you, as crummy as the actual poetry is. (I absolutely hate the be, degree, and tree line, but I haven’t a clue about how to fix it).

So here you go, I hope it blesses you:

Uncertain, hesitating, second-guessing
Stopping, pausing, visibly cringing
When her façade is fading
Leaving the raw, unstable mess unveiled.

Something stops her again
An assumption of pain
Another feign
Wondering when she’ll understand what’s true.

Things of beauty, things of worth
Worthless now as they fall to the earth
What is real, what is more than mirth?
If only she could see through the words.

Arrogance and false humility
Both filled with pride and hostility
Even under the disguise of civility
Where will we find humble grace?

Great triumph and deed
Do not lend greater speed
They all seem to impede
The race to the cross.

Confidence or assurance?
Which will bring endurance?
She longs for insurance
Of hope up to come.

They tell her what she ought to be
Assertive and clear in every degree
Pleasant but firm as a tree
In one word, confident.

But what if she can’t be sure?
What if pretense and pride aren’t the cure?
What if confidence can’t make her pure
From the doubts and assumptions invading?

Far from secure but still held.
Can’t stand on her own but still compelled
To say what’s true even where she’s excelled.
Where do humility and truth collide?

Pride cannot stand for long
For it falls down when it is wrong.
But there is still One who can make her strong.
For in Truth she can be confident.

-Faith Gilliosa

I know it’s kinda long, but I hope you enjoyed it!

Where do you think the line between confidence, humility, and truth stands?


“Though a host encamp against me,
My heart will not fear;
Though war arise against me,
In spite of this I shall be confident.”

-Psalm 27:3 (NASB)

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

-Philippians 1:6 (NASB)


*P.S. I’m still trying to figure out the new WordPress Editor, so I hope everything looks okay!!